MICHELLE HARWELL MFT

We grew up and saw our mom day in and day out, something we took for granted. As infants, we depended fully on her for our physical needs — milk, changing diapers, love, and comfort. That emotional bonding started with her hugs and kisses and unwavering trust. If trust was not given early on as Erickson, a developmental psychologist says, we seek it in our growing years.
As a toddler, our mom taught us our first words. She seemed to be very patient at it and even found our babbling amusing.
Growing up as a preschooler and that first step into a new environment, which is school, showed how much independence a mom gives her child. There were moms who needlessly worried about leaving their 5-year-old at the new school. Both had to learn to “let go” to enable them to experience what adjustment is. For life is full of adjustments:
new friends, new concepts, new places.
Then, as a preschooler, mom was our mentor, snack fixer, and untiring attendee at PTA meetings. She would worry when we got sick or did not feel like participating in a school activity. She was the cheerleader and the best mentor.

She doted on what clothes fancied us as teenagers, and respected the friends we kept. How can a mom see her young daughter or son walk down the wedding aisle without feeling a sense of sadness? Not easy I suppose. This would seem like a positive type of mom, caring and loving.
But moms can also have their “bad” days and kids know these times. They dread it. They dread it even more when they see their parents arguing in loud voices. They even think it is the end of the world and that their parents don’t love each other.

How can kids learn to respect and honor their mom (their parents)? I would agree with many wise persons that to be respected, one must first be respectful. The first basic lesson for mothers is to learn to listen with undivided attention. This is seldom easy, especially if mom has a hundred and one things in her mind. If you can’t listen at that moment, be honest with your kid and tell him that.
Moms (and dads) should keep reassuring their kids that they love them. Not with gifts, but rather with everyday gestures — a kiss, a pat on the back, a hug, watching TV together, reading a story, laughing together.
Happy Mother’s Day and everyday! I love you mom!

Fortunately, my kids were all the cheerful type. We would “talk” while the child sat in his baby potty They always had some story to tell and I delighted in these little conversations. I recall one of my son’s nanny had such a strong personality, I was afraid my son would not develop self- confidence. She would boss him around and get strict with him when he was getting all scruff ed up from playing outdoors. The little boy seemed happy with her, but I felt she had to go at one point, when he turned 2. I was relieved when she left.
Young children need to learn to be independent and be able to do simple chores as picking up their toys after play and returning these to a proper place, learning to put on their clothes, wash their hands by themselves, and eat by themselves. Don’t you notice that nanny do these things for them? These kids, so dependent on their nanny will not even lift a finger when it is time to change their clothes. So what kind of adults will they be same day? More than likely, the men will want their girl friends and wives to prepare their clothes and maybe even spoon feed them. And the women, they will loathe dirtying their hands to work.